What Parents Can Do About Drug Use and Drug Dealing?
1. Check your teen?s bedroom. Good places to look for marijuana: under mattresses, under dressers, under cabinets, attached to the back of the drawers, inside pockets of clothes and jeans the teen never wears.
2. Check your teen's attendance record at school. Is your teen skipping school to go get high? Does he leave early, arrive late, and sometimes not show up at all? Does he forge notes from his mom, or steal passes from the school office?
3. Check your teen's vehicle after a Friday or Saturday night. If they were smoking in their vehicle, you can usually smell a strange odor coming out of it. Check for small pieces of joints (green leaf-like particles or seeds on the floorboards or seats). Look for white pasty substances on CDs, CD cases, dashboards, pictures, or mirrors that they might be doing meth, crack, or cocaine off of.
4. Consider finding a therapist who specializes in adolescent substance abuse.? If your child won?t go, go yourself. An experienced therapist will be able to help you figure out how to approach your child and what you can do for him ? and for yourself.
5. Consider where they get their marijuana.? Teens usually start by getting their marijuana through their friends, eventually building up a network of dealers whom they meet at a convenient location. Some get their marijuana in parking lots (e.g., fast-food restaurants, superstores, gas stations, movie theaters, etc.).
6. Develop an open, strong and trusting relationship with your teen, one without judgment.? Don't get angry with what your teen comes to you and tells you, or the next time they won't share with you what's going on in their life. Give them advice and maybe they'll make a better choice in the future.
7. Don?t mistakenly pay for your teen's marijuana.? Parents often give their teen money to buy clothes or eat out, but the teen is saving that money to spend on marijuana. If you suspect your teen is using and/or dealing drugs, never give him cash.
8. Don't think your teen is too young to be exposed to marijuana.
9. Double check alarm systems. Even though parents may have an alarm system in their house, a teen is able to find a loophole to get out of the house past curfew time (e.g., fire escape ladder to get out a bedroom window and to the ground).
10. Figure out what you will and won?t do if your teen gets into legal trouble. Will you get a lawyer to help or is he on his own? Calmly tell your teen what those limits are ? and mean it. Then be prepared to follow through.
11. Find out who the other moms and dads are. It generally helps when moms and dads band together. There are probably at least a few of his friends with moms and dads who are as concerned as you are. Get together and brainstorm ways to get your adolescents busier with positive things.
12. Get your extended family to help in a positive way. Saving an adolescent is a family project. Can the grandparents take your teen along on weekend outings? Are any of his uncles doing something he?d like to learn?
13. Give your teen a random drug test. Make sure it's after a weekend.
14. Identify the things that are going well, however small. These are the things you can build on to develop better self-esteem and better communication. Does he come to dinner with the family? Laugh at a joke? Anything like this means that he is not totally disengaged from the family. Remember this to give yourself hope and encouragement. Compliment your teen whenever you can to strengthen the connection between you.
15. In spite of the turn of events, this is still your child. Try to find ways to put aside your anger, fear, and disappointment. Let your teen know that the reason you are angry and afraid is that you care deeply about him. Catch him being good as much as you can.
16. Know who your teen's friends are. If a teen won't bring their friends over to the house to hang out with their parents and get to know them a little better, they most likely have something to hide.
17. Let your teen know that you see through the bad behavior to the talented, smart child he once was ? and still is. He doesn?t have to meet some abstract standard of perfection or compete with anyone else for your love or attention. He is valued for who he is.
18. Lock your liquor cabinet.
19. Look closely at your teen. To cover up the physical signs that your teen is using marijuana, he might pull his hat down over his eyes, put gum in his mouth, and put Visine in his eyes to take away any redness. When he comes home, he may avoid conversation by giving his parents short yes or no answers. When drug use takes a toll, you may notice a rapid loss of weight, paleness of the skin, discoloration, dark circles under the eyes, shaky hands, dropping grades, more absences from school than you know about, sudden mood changes, and a rise in anger at family members.
20. Check their text messages, and look through their pockets, purses, wallets and backpacks. Ask for permission, but if they're mad that you're looking through their stuff, it may be because they have something to hide.
21. Make an appointment with a therapist for a comprehensive evaluation. Let your child know that sometimes people get involved with marijuana because there is something legitimate going on. You care enough about your teen to find out.
22. Remember that the most trusting parents are the ones who are the easiest to take advantage of.?
23. Remind your teen that it is a parent?s job to help their adolescents grow up physically healthy and emotionally strong and you intend to do your part. You don?t want your teen to go to jail, overdose and get sick, or die. You will therefore never get off his back about marijuana.
24. School guidance counselors have seen lots of adolescents like your child. They have also seen lots of moms and dads who have abdicated their responsibility for their adolescents. They don?t know that you are a concerned parent unless you tell them. There may be a drug abuse program connected to the school. If so, take advantage of what help is offered.
25. Try to get your teen involved with something he likes that will put him into a different group and take up his time in a positive way. He needs new ways to feel good about himself. Work behind the scenes and get someone else to call your teen with an offer or an idea.
The bottom line is this: Parents should step back and analyze what is really going on. Drug use and drug sales are a sign of a much deeper issue. Like most moms and dads, you?ve probably been dealing with the symptoms (e.g., hair, dress, curfews, contraband, etc.), not the deeper problems (e.g., feelings, peer pressures, family dynamics, addiction, etc.). You will be in a much better position to come up with solutions if you have a better idea of what the real problems are.
Source: http://www.onlineparentingcoach.com/2012/10/my-child-drug-dealer.html
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